Hey friends — thanks for joining us here on This With Krish. In this first installment of our mini-series, I sat down with my wife, Shannon, to talk about one of the most meaningful seasons of our lives: the years when my work required extensive travel, and the impact that had on our marriage, our children and our home. Today I’m sharing the article version of that conversation—honest, reflective, and grounded in both our lived experience and what the research says.
The Backdrop: My Travel Years
For a long stretch of time, I was gone more than I was home. Airports, late-night flights, early mornings, hotel rooms, conference rooms. I’d come home for a weekend, right into “normal life” mode—kids, schedules, carpools, meals—and then a few days later I’d be gone again. On the surface everything seemed “fine.” But what I didn’t see was how much Shannon carried, and how our children and our marriage quietly absorbed the strain.
From Shannon’s perspective: she managed two full-time roles—her own career and the home front. When I was gone, she was it. Scheduling, discipline, bedtime stories, the mess, the unspoken emotional load. Over time, that creates a backdrop of endurance and often, unseen cost.
The Impact on Family Life
On the Kids
When a parent travels frequently, the children may not always say it out loud—but they feel it. According to a qualitative study of 75 children from 43 families where a parent traveled often, children described time with the traveling parent as “rushed,” “on the go,” or “different from normal.” PMC
One child in the study said: “When Dad is home he talks fast and runs out again.” That sense of inconsistency matters.
Another study looked specifically at parental work travel and youth adjustment; it found a link between frequent travel nights and increased internalizing and externalizing behaviors (things like anxiety, acting out) among children. PMC
Even if the traveling parent is still financially providing and committed, the physical absence and disruption of “normal” rhythms makes a difference.
On the Marriage
Marriage is often the stabilizing anchor of the family—but when one partner is gone often, that anchor can feel lighter. A 2002 study titled “Does Absence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?” found that among dual-earner couples with children, frequent work travel was associated with lower marital satisfaction when gender role expectations didn’t align. SpringerLink
In another study of overnight work-travel (OWT) in dual-earner households, longer durations of travel were associated with greater work-to-family conflict and psychological distress — particularly among men. MIDUS – Midlife in the United States
What that means: It’s not simply being away—it’s the accumulation of time, the disruption of roles, the transition from one world (work) to another (home) and the unspoken burden on the spouse who stays.
On the Traveler (Father)
It’s easy to assume the “traveler’s burden” is the tired flights and hotel rooms. But research shows significant relational and emotional costs too. The study of overnight travel found men reported higher work-to-family conflict and mental health strains when travel increased. MIDUS – Midlife in the United States
For fathers (or any parent) who travel, the tension is this: you’re working hard to provide and succeed—but the home you’re trying to support still needs your presence, your attention, your “just being there.” When those don’t align, you feel it—and so does your family.
Our Story: What We Saw
Here’s what we learned in our home:
- The kids would ask, “Daddy go work?” before the suitcase even hit the floor. They felt the rhythm more than we realized.
- When I was home, they sometimes squeezed all the days I missed into one weekend—so much expectation, so little breathing room.
- Shannon was the constant. The “you” for them. Their routines looked like her routines, because I was the occasional player. That wasn’t her choice—it was our season.
- On our marriage: I thought I was preserving things by being the provider; but if I wasn’t present, then something important was missing. Our alignment, our communication, and the shared sense of “us” started to fray.
- The big shift happened when I said, “No more. I’m coming home.” The job change itself wasn’t easy. But the decision changed everything: my calendar, our roles, our family rhythm.
Why This Matters (And Why You Might Be Listening)
If you’re a parent who travels, or you are married to one, or you’re on the home-front carrying the weight—you’re not alone. Your story matters. Your presence matters. The “little” moments matter.
This isn’t about guilt. It’s about awareness. It’s about making choices that match values. For us: the value was presence. Family. Connection.
It’s also about knowing the research backs what you feel: time away matters, routines matter, day-in day-out presence matters. The financial provision is important—but it’s not the only provision. Emotional presence, relational presence, “being there” provision matters too.
What We Learned & What You Can Do
Here are actionable take-aways:
- Communication is non-negotiable. Talk honestly about what the schedule means. Talk about what you’re missing. Talk about what you want.
- Check in with your spouse/adult partner. The one holding things down needs support, chance to unload, the emotional space.
- Design for presence, not perfection. You may not fix the travel—but you can design how you re-enter home, how you show up when you are there.
- Small rhythms matter. Bedtime stories. Unplanned errands. A drive-time talk. Presence builds in the little stuff.
- Be intentional about transitions. When you come back from travel, don’t just jump into tasks. Pause. Connect. Ask questions. Listen.
- Check on your kids’ emotional world. A child may say “I’m fine” but show behind-the-scenes stress or confusion. Keep asking, keep listening.
- Make aligned decisions. If you find your job requires travel that clashes with your family values, ask: Is the trade-off worth it? Are there alternatives? Are you willing to shift?
Where We Are Now
Today, I’m home more than I travel. I still work hard—but my home life has presence. Shannon and I are closer than ever. Our kids see Dad not as “sometimes” but “regularly.” We laugh together. We squabble (because family). We grow. And most importantly: we’re together.
In launching this mini series, we want you to join us. We’ll pull back the curtain on our story, yes—but also invite you to reflect on your story. What’s working? What’s not? Where do you want to show up differently?
Thanks again for reading. If you enjoyed this article, please share it. If you’re interested in the next episodes, subscribe on YouTube or Spotify (links in the episode description). And if you’d like to dive deeper, drop a comment or send us a message — we’d love to hear from you.
Until next time — presence matters. Value your home, value the people who carry it, and let your work support your family, not overshadow it.
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